I apologize for taking so long between correspondences. My life has been rather eventful since becoming an active duty Lancer. I’ve also been wrestling with my inner demons, so to speak, which has limited my desire to put quill to paper. I’ll attempt to summarize my last few weeks’ activities.
We were tasked with acquiring some special razorvine that apparently only grows in a specific spot of the Arch Lector’s keep in Plaguemort. We traveled to the place and found ourselves confronted by the Arch Lector’s guards. Vox led our negotiations with them and eventually we acquired said razorvine. Then all Hell broke loose.
Apparently Plaguemort was literally and figuratively teetering on the edge of damnation when we arrived. Its inhabitants had been rather…immoral…apparently, and their actions had caused the city to virtually slip into the Abyss. During our attempts to acquire the razorvine, a full-out riot/coup occurred, which appeared to be led by a succubus.
We tried to save the town through diplomacy, but ultimately were forced to take the sword to the heathens. The Arch Lector was killed in the chaos (not by us) and we managed to promote “Jimmy” to the new town leader. I haven’t a clue who Jimmy is, or whether he’s fit to rule this garbage heap of a city. I just wanted out of that mess and get the opportunity to slip my blade into the demonic whore leading the riots.
After installing Jimmy into office (in a manner of speaking), we stormed the Keep itself, into which the succubus had retreated. The front gates were barred and locked and no amount of entreating would budge the guards. Fortunately, there’s always a back door. We found a way in through the kitchen and ultimately ended up in the Arch Lector’s trapped and guarded treasure room. After dealing with things in the room, we looted some nice magical artefacts and some cash.
We continued exploring the keep and found the main entry foyer guarded by demons, anchored by a huge Barlgora. The ape-like thing towered everything and I began to question our ability to deal with something so strong. It is here that I must pause my story for a moment.
Up until now, I’d been secure in my faith and felt that doing the “right” thing would ultimately allow things to work out as our Lord intended. Throughout my travels I’d tried not to judge the character of those around me and simply cut down those extra-planars I encountered who tried to kill me and my colleagues. Yet deep in my heart I felt something akin to loathing towards those who followed other faiths, creeds, or philosophies. Many of these people would dedicate themselves towards wealth, honor, or hedonism, without a thought of where their lives would ultimately take them.
I don’t believe that I’m a paragon of my Faith, but I do know that I have a clear direction in my actions and life philosophy, mother. I know that Death is ultimately the end of all things, but I do not attempt to speed along those who take the journey, unless their actions demand my intervention. Upon entering Plaguemort, I quickly found my judgement tainted by these sad souls. In an effort to end the conflict more quickly, I chose to sacrifice the townspeople rioting in the streets. I myself was not their executioner, though I may as well have swung the axe.
I left the Keep and found a large group of rioters pillaging and looting and otherwise sending themselves deeper into the Abyss. At the time, I believed that as these people were so keen on damning themselves, I might as well use their lives in one final, meaningful, purpose.
Shining with Lord Kelemvor’s light, I attracted them to the back door of the Keep and led them into the entry foyer, where the demons there quickly fell upon them. The carnage was horrific, mother! The huge demon tore the chattel apart in fist-fulls and sent the entire group into a blood frenzy. Many souls graced our Lord’s domain that day.
Using the mob as a distraction, we managed to bring down the Barlgura and contain the others long enough for us to work our way up to the upper chambers. There we found a destitute woman amidst some torture chambers. We freed her, though what good it did her doomed soul, I don’t know. We then proceeded to the roof, where the succubus we’d hunted waited with another succubus and several other demons. We fought the flying beasts as best we could, and I managed to jump down from a rooftop and cleaved the succubus in half! I was gravely injured in the effort though, and my colleagues fared little better.
We made a choice that chills my soul to this day. Sindri opened a lifestealing jar we’d acquired months ago. It captured the soul of the remaining succubus, but released a gargantuan demon upon the world. The juggernaut tore its way through the building and destroyed or chased off the remaining demons. It then strode away into the distance, to where I don’t know. We found evidence of a Marquis Fearson(?)’s plots against Plaguemort and his attempt to send them into the Abyss.
I fear that our actions in this town will have reverberating effects that we shall never know. While the townspeople were more than willing to embrace their dooms, I shouldn’t have led them to it, especially now knowing how they were deceived. Our unleashing of the beast from the jar also weighs heavily on my conscience, Mother. We haven’t the strength to destroy such a creature; I know not who would. Eventually we shall have to reckon for our actions.
I don’t know how to reconcile the guilt I feel with the knowledge that I did what was necessary to end a larger evil. I feel as though my purity is irrelevant when the greater good is threatened. How can I simply stand by and not do what I can to prevent atrocities in hopes of preserving my piety? You and father always taught me to do what was right. I now see that “right” is a relative term and that even “evil” is subjective. All that matters is resolving the situation in the way that best serves the ultimate goal.
I know that may not be the perspective you wished me to have when I chose to serve our Lord, but my cynical eyes see no other path. I believe that I may have to reaffirm my faith and place in the church in times soon to come. I believe our Lord Kelemvor has greater plans for me than simply being a helpful good-guy. I believe that he has scripted these events of my life to show me a better understanding of his desires for my future.
I also disturbs me somewhat to know that, deep down, I approve.