We all board the ferry and pay the oarsman his copper and it begins to sail us down the river. Eventually we pass through Sigil and find ourselves on the river Styx! Looking around we spot mountains and steam coming up from the river and I deduce that we have entered Gehenna. It’s fairly depressing here but Vox starts singing a tune a keeps us all lively and feeling well.
After some time we enter the grey, washed-out landscape of the Grey Wastes. Unfortunately Vox ends up breaking a string on his lute while trying to keep us entertained and the power of the plane gets us all depressed, with Vaclav starting to go a bit emo.
Next up is Carceri, which we recognize from a couple missions ago to find the spirit of a dwarf. Vox abandons his lute this time and keeps us entertained with some jokes. Following that is a dim place with a red sun… the Abyss! Unfortunately Vox’s jokes start getting so bad that they attract demons overhead!
Some of the demons land and one of them puts me to sleep… which I remained for the entirety of the battle. I awoke to find Adolamin passed out on top of me so I quickly heal him so that he’ll move. Next I have to endure Vaclav’s snickering as he told me that one of the demons farted in my face and Adolamin did something called “teabagging” while I was unconscious. Not my most glamorous of battles.
Walking among the screams
We finally end up in Pandemonium, which I recognized immediately from all the screaming tunnels… kind of hard to miss, actually. Vaclav seemed particularly disturbed by the wails as he began mumbling to himself and took his pants right off.
Eventually the oarsman leads us to shore and directs us off the boat. We do so and he follows us, pointing down a particular tunnel. We walk for quite a while which prompts Adolamin and Vox to knock Vaclav out so that he would be easier to transport through the plane.
After a while we exit the tunnels and find ourselves on a hill overlooking Bedlum in the Outlands. We can see Sigil in the distance! Quite a trip to end up back “near” where we started. We walk around the town and find a marsh where the oarsman summons a new boat for us to ride on.
Before we can sail through the marsh we are suddenly beset upon by some lizardfolk. Vox starts negotiating with them and offers them a potion. They demand tribute and want 6 shiny things (gold) from each of us. Eventually we relent and Adolamin and I pay their tribute from our own pockets.
Vaclav can’t handle outer planes
After sailing some more we find ourselves at the gate town of Sylvania near Arborea (a.k.a. Olympus, Arvandor). We stop there for a bit so that Vaclav can have relations with three women while Jericho watches… I guess you had to be there… or not… it’s a weird place.
Next up is a land of continual noon – the first layer of the Beastlands. We pass through that to the next layer of perpetual dawn, then finally to the third layer of perpetual night. It’s here that Vaclav starts becoming feral and attacks us. I think quickly and use a spell to mess with his mind in order to show him a well-hung, naked dwarf that continually taunts him. It works fairly well… I guess I know Vaclav’s tendencies pretty well by now. Eventually we knock him out and continue on our way.
It’s never smooth sailing
Finally we make our way to Elysium and sail up to the Ocean of Thalysia where the headwaters of the river Oceanus. It’s at that point that an angel appeared and told us to leave and not do what we were clearly attempting to do. I tried my best to ask the angel questions about the helmet and the task that we needed to do to remove the curse… but it ignored me completely. So we did the ritual anyways and high-tailed it out of there.
We did have to re-pay the oarsman to get him to take us back, though.